Tuesday Rewind: An Open Letter to Pastors
Jan 31, 2012 Tuesday Rewind
On some Tuesdays, I go back into the archives and dig up something that still relates today. For the next 5 weeks, I am going to repost the Top 5 Posts from 2011. Today’s post is #1 and it comes from February 21, 2011. I am so glad this was the most popular post on my blog last year, because it was by far my favorite and the one I felt most passionate about while writing it.
During the course of Riv’s current series on 1 Timothy, I am blogging about stuff I can’t get to during the weekend services. Today, I am posting an open letter to my brothers who pastor in Jesus’ church around the world. This is going to be a longer post than normal but I feel like I have to address something and it’s going to take more than a few words to do so.
Speak to younger men as brothers…and younger women as sisters–with complete purity.-1 Timothy 5:1-2
Brothers-
I received an email yesterday that literally made me feel like I was going to puke. It was a friend of mine telling me a mutual friend had fallen into sexual sin with a member of his church staff and he was going to leave his family and move in with the other woman. This is the second of my friends to fall like this in the past couple weeks. Neither of these affairs were one time things, either. They had gone on for months and months.
After my stomach began to settle, I began to get pissed off. How could these men do something like this to their wives and families and churches? How could they do this to Jesus?
That’s when my third emotion kicked in: somberness. Each of these men were passionate and godly men who fell into sin. They join the ranks of many other men I have known who have done the same thing. At one point or another, I looked up to each of them. Some were brilliant communicators, other caring shepherds. They all loved being pastors, loved their families, and loved their churches. That’s why I became somber, because I couldn’t help but think “there but by the grace of God, go I.”
This morning when I woke up, I was angry again. This time at sin. I’m so mad that sin can topple years of hard work and devotion in an instant. At the same time, I take solace knowing that while individual men may fall, the gates of hell will not prevail against Jesus’ church.
So it is with these mixed emotions that I offer a list of suggestions for protecting yourself from this type of fall. I am not trying to be a legalist here, nor am I suggesting this is an exhaustive list. However, I want to strike while the iron is hot in my mind. Like any of you, I have the potential to fall into this type of sin. I want to “discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Cor 9:27)
Keep your marriage bed hot. As the Psalmist has written, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth…let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Proverbs 5:19) If things are going well with your sex life with your wife, you are less likely to be tempted to stray. Make this one of your highest priorities.
Maintain your relationship with God. A lot of times pastors spend so much energy teaching others about the faith that their own begins to drift. Make sure you are “setting an example for the flock.” (1 Peter 5:3) Get time alone with God, be fervent in your prayers, study the Word and make it central in your life.
Don’t underestimate the power of sin in your own life. The Apostle Paul understood this deeply, which is why he wrote,
“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:15–20)
Don’t underestimate the power of Jesus Christ’s atoning work on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s continuing work in your life. Paul continues his previous thought by saying,
“Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 7:24-8:4)
Sin may be strong, but Jesus is stronger. He has already set you free! Now, through the Holy Spirit’s power, you can say “no” to the flesh.
Flee temptation. Many of us think we have to stand there and take temptation to prove we are a man. No! Flee temptation! Paul tells us to do so at least 4 times that I can think of (1 Cor 6:18 | 1 Cor 10:14 | 1 Tim 6:11 | 2 Tim 2:22). Here are some practical ways to flee sexual temptation. Many people say these rules go too far, I think they are wise.
- Never have lunch alone with a woman (except with members of your immediate family, of course).
- Never ride alone in the car with a woman.
- Never meet alone with a woman unless the door is open, you have windows people can see through, etc.
- Never counsel a married woman alone without her husband more than one time.
- If you find yourself drawn to a woman (physically, mentally, or emotionally), avoid her.
- Don’t have close female friends if you are not also friends with her husband.
- Be careful with physical and verbal affection. If it can be misconstrued, don’t do it.
- Install OpenDNS on your home and church computer networks and XXXChurch accountability software on all your computers.
Give your wife full access. Make sure your wife has all of your passwords to your email accounts and Facebook. Encourage her to log into your account and snoop around. If you feel like you need privacy, ask yourself why you feel that way. I guarantee the answer isn’t a good one. You are trying to hide something–repent and give your wife the passwords.
Be careful on Facebook. In the last few weeks, I have heard about two different people I know who have rekindled old flames on Facebook–that’s the obvious danger. The more subtle danger is the photos. Many women don’t think about the impact of some of the racier photos they post and it’s easy to become a voyeur. It’s better to just stay away from the photo pages all together.
Get accountable. Often the way we use accountability is a stupid thing because it doesn’t actually accomplish anything. But if used well, it can be a powerful tool. It is a way for brothers to help each other. Confess your temptations to a trusted friend (a co-pastor is the perfect person because they understand). Tell them when you are being tempted, when you find someone in your congregation or staff attractive, etc. Give them access to your computer, phone, etc, to check up on you when they feel like it. Give them permission to aggressively check up on you.
Finally, I want to challenge all of us to Pray for One Another. This is a battle we are in and “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.” (Eph 6:12–13)
I love you brothers. Stand firm.
Noel
Tags: Holy Spirit, Jesus, marriage, pastors, prayer, sex, sin, social media, temptation
Tuesday Rewind: Easter Psalms
Apr 19, 2011 Tuesday Rewind
Each Tuesday, I fire up the Flux Capacitor and bring an old blog post back from the past. Today, I’m doing something a bit different. I am posting two old teachings that relate to last weekend’s teaching at Riv.
“Psalm 69: A Psalm of Cursing“
“Psalm 22: A Psalm of Redemption“
What To Pray For
Mar 29, 2011 Prayer
The list of problems to pray for always seems longer than the hours of the day, and grows faster than they are resolved. How do you decide what (and how much) to pray for? It’s hard for me to imagine praying consistently and repeatedly for every problem that crosses my radar, and I suspect your potential prayer list is significantly longer. (1 prayer request per e-mail you get?)
To answer this question, and in keeping with our new Tuesday Rewind, here’s an entry from a few years ago:
http://www.noelheikkinen.com/2009/09/21/prayerfulness/
Tags: prayer
Impressive Results
Mar 28, 2011 Prayer
Someone at Riv recently sent me a bunch of questions about prayer because of some comments I had made on the subject. His questions were really good, so I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s blog posts to his questions.
So if prayer is so active, why is so much written and said on unanswered prayer (or how to pray so that your prayers are answered)? Or put another way, among Christians, if 59% of men and 80% of women in the US pray, why aren’t the results more impressive?
For me, the answer boils down to your definition of the words “results” and “impressive.”
Results: A lot of times, we treat prayer as a way of getting “what I want.” Instead, we should understand prayer as “getting what God wants.” This was even a part of Jesus’ famous prayer on the Mount of Olives (Luke 22:42) and the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:10).
The Apostle John says this is what should give us confidence in our prayers. Check out what he says:
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. (1 John 5:14-15)
Impressive: This word reeks of the same human narcissism as the last word. It subtlety implies that God is not in control and that his answers are meant to impress us or wow us somehow. Instead, we should believe that God, being ultimately in control, is working out the most impressive scenario possible – not from our perspective, but his own.
Tags: prayer
An Open Letter To Pastors
Feb 21, 2011 1 Timothy
During the course of Riv’s current series on 1 Timothy, I am blogging about stuff I can’t get to during the weekend services. Today, I am posting an open letter to my brothers who pastor in Jesus’ church around the world. This is going to be a longer post than normal but I feel like I have to address something and it’s going to take more than a few words to do so.
Speak to younger men as brothers…and younger women as sisters–with complete purity.-1 Timothy 5:1-2
Brothers-
I received an email yesterday that literally made me feel like I was going to puke. It was a friend of mine telling me a mutual friend had fallen into sexual sin with a member of his church staff and he was going to leave his family and move in with the other woman. This is the second of my friends to fall like this in the past couple weeks. Neither of these affairs were one time things, either. They had gone on for months and months.
After my stomach began to settle, I began to get pissed off. How could these men do something like this to their wives and families and churches? How could they do this to Jesus?
That’s when my third emotion kicked in: somberness. Each of these men were passionate and godly men who fell into sin. They join the ranks of many other men I have known who have done the same thing. At one point or another, I looked up to each of them. Some were brilliant communicators, other caring shepherds. They all loved being pastors, loved their families, and loved their churches. That’s why I became somber, because I couldn’t help but think “there but by the grace of God, go I.”
This morning when I woke up, I was angry again. This time at sin. I’m so mad that sin can topple years of hard work and devotion in an instant. At the same time, I take solace knowing that while individual men may fall, the gates of hell will not prevail against Jesus’ church.
So it is with these mixed emotions that I offer a list of suggestions for protecting yourself from this type of fall. I am not trying to be a legalist here, nor am I suggesting this is an exhaustive list. However, I want to strike while the iron is hot in my mind. Like any of you, I have the potential to fall into this type of sin. I want to “discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Cor 9:27)
Keep your marriage bed hot. As the Psalmist has written, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth…let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Proverbs 5:19) If things are going well with your sex life with your wife, you are less likely to be tempted to stray. Make this one of your highest priorities.
Maintain your relationship with God. A lot of times pastors spend so much energy teaching others about the faith that their own begins to drift. Make sure you are “setting an example for the flock.” (1 Peter 5:3) Get time alone with God, be fervent in your prayers, study the Word and make it central in your life.
Don’t underestimate the power of sin in your own life. The Apostle Paul understood this deeply, which is why he wrote,
“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:15–20)
Don’t underestimate the power of Jesus Christ’s atoning work on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s continuing work in your life. Paul continues his previous thought by saying,
“Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 7:24-8:4)
Sin may be strong, but Jesus is stronger. He has already set you free! Now, through the Holy Spirit’s power, you can say “no” to the flesh.
Flee temptation. Many of us think we have to stand there and take temptation to prove we are a man. No! Flee temptation! Paul tells us to do so at least 4 times that I can think of (1 Cor 6:18 | 1 Cor 10:14 | 1 Tim 6:11 | 2 Tim 2:22). Here are some practical ways to flee sexual temptation. Many people say these rules go too far, I think they are wise.
- Never have lunch alone with a woman (except with members of your immediate family, of course).
- Never ride alone in the car with a woman.
- Never meet alone with a woman unless the door is open, you have windows people can see through, etc.
- Never counsel a married woman alone without her husband more than one time.
- If you find yourself drawn to a woman (physically, mentally, or emotionally), avoid her.
- Don’t have close female friends if you are not also friends with her husband.
- Be careful with physical and verbal affection. If it can be misconstrued, don’t do it.
- Install OpenDNS on your home and church computer networks and XXXChurch accountability software on all your computers.
Give your wife full access. Make sure your wife has all of your passwords to your email accounts and Facebook. Encourage her to log into your account and snoop around. If you feel like you need privacy, ask yourself why you feel that way. I guarantee the answer isn’t a good one. You are trying to hide something–repent and give your wife the passwords.
Be careful on Facebook. In the last few weeks, I have heard about two different people I know who have rekindled old flames on Facebook–that’s the obvious danger. The more subtle danger is the photos. Many women don’t think about the impact of some of the racier photos they post and it’s easy to become a voyeur. It’s better to just stay away from the photo pages all together.
Get accountable. Often the way we use accountability is a stupid thing because it doesn’t actually accomplish anything. But if used well, it can be a powerful tool. It is a way for brothers to help each other. Confess your temptations to a trusted friend (a co-pastor is the perfect person because they understand). Tell them when you are being tempted, when you find someone in your congregation or staff attractive, etc. Give them access to your computer, phone, etc, to check up on you when they feel like it. Give them permission to aggressively check up on you.
Finally, I want to challenge all of us to Pray for One Another. This is a battle we are in and “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.” (Eph 6:12–13)
I love you brothers. Stand firm.
Noel
Tags: adultery, elders, husbands, leadership, manliness, mentorship, prayer, repentance, sex, sin, wives
Prayer
Feb 4, 2011 Uncategorized Hodge Podge
Each week at Riv, we get a lot of prayer requests. Some come in from people at the weekend services and some come in from our website. A group of elders and other leaders gather to pray through the requests each week but we wanted to open it up for more people to pray.
A few months ago, we offered to email the requests to anyone who wanted to pray and it’s been cool to see how many people have joined the team. This past weekend alone, over 100 people joined the prayer team (and yes…the majority were men).
If you would like to join the prayer team, just check off the appropriate box on the tear-off during our weekend services and give us your email address.
Here’s a sample of what we will email you each week if you join the team.
Prayer
Feb 2, 2011 1 Timothy
During the course of Riv’s current series on 1 Timothy, I am going to take some time to blog about some interesting stuff I wasn’t able to get to during the weekend services.
This passage was particularly convicting for me during my studies:
First of all, then, I urge that requests, prayers, intercessions, and thanks be offered on behalf of all people, even for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. Such prayer for all is good and welcomed before God our Savior, since he wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth…So I want the men to pray in every place, lifting up holy hands without anger or dispute.”-1 Timothy 2:1–4,8
The reason it convicted me was that I am not very good at prayer. Of course, I haven’t met too many people who are. It seems like the topic of prayer always causes people to say, “Yeah, I really should pray more.”
It’s true.
I really should pray more.
So should you…especially you men.
According to a recent study, only 59% of men who say they are evangelical Christians pray at least once a day. (Women have us beat big time…over 79% of evangelical women pray at least once a day.) Worse yet, over 30% of evangelical men pray once a week or less.
Guys…we are pathetic. I’m not trying to pour guilt on anyone, that would be the pot calling the kettle black. But we need to change this up. I am going to open comments up on this one (on both my blog and on Facebook). For the sake of all men out there, help us out by answering this question:
How can we help men to pray more?
Tags: prayer
Awesome Prayer
Jan 24, 2011 1 Timothy
Whenever I am studying a passage to teach at Riv, there is so much I come across that I don’t have time to squeeze into my messages. That’s why, during the course of the current series on 1 Timothy, I am going to take some time to blog about some of the material that ended up on the cutting floor of my study.
“Now to the eternal king, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever! Amen.”
- 1 Timothy 1:17
Wow.
This verse is packed with so much great theology it makes my head spin. Let’s pick it apart piece by piece.
“Now to the eternal king…”
Jesus is the King of kings. He always has been, he always will be.
“…immortal…”
Contrary to popular myth, Vampires are not immortal. Jesus is. My sin killed him once, but he came back to life. Booya.
“…invisible…”
This literally means God exists “beyond the constraints of flesh.” Jesus is both human and divine.
“the only God…”
There is only one God, eternally existing in three persons: God, the Father; Jesus, the Son; and the Holy Spirit.
“…be honor…”
Because of his very nature, Jesus deserves our honor and respect.
“…be glory…”
Because of his very nature, we should give God the Father glory through Jesus.
“forever and ever!”
We should, can, and will give God this honor and glory forever.
“Amen.”
If ever a sentence deserved an “Amen,” it was this one.
Once again, read this sentence, but this time do so slowly as a prayer:
“Now to the eternal king, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever! Amen.”
- 1 Timothy 1:17
Happy Thanksgiving
Nov 25, 2010 Uncategorized Hodge Podge
…I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity, and union.
- President Abraham Lincoln on October 3, 1863
Tags: prayer, thankfulness, thanksgiving
It’s Time to Pray
Nov 3, 2010 Uncategorized Hodge Podge
Well, yesterday’s elections are over and done. I suspect most of the votes have been tabulated and the winners have been announced. I say “I suspect” because I am writing this at 1:44 EST Tuesday and I am post-dating it for tomorrow morning.
The democratic nature of our country gives us the privilege to elect our leaders, which is a very cool thing.
An even cooler thing is the privilege we have to pray to the one who holds our leaders’ hearts in his hand like a stream of water. The Apostle Paul gives us this command:
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1 Tim 2:1-4)
You can use this site to find out who your new elected officials are. Pick out a few and pray for them. Here are a few simple things to pray for from this passage:
Thank God for them.
Pray that they will lead well so you may live a peaceful and quiet life.
Now I know you are tempted to move onto the next email or blog post. Don’t. Take a few minutes and pray. Paul (and I) urge you to do so.
