Tuesday Rewind: An Open Letter to Pastors
Jan 31, 2012 Tuesday Rewind
On some Tuesdays, I go back into the archives and dig up something that still relates today. For the next 5 weeks, I am going to repost the Top 5 Posts from 2011. Today’s post is #1 and it comes from February 21, 2011. I am so glad this was the most popular post on my blog last year, because it was by far my favorite and the one I felt most passionate about while writing it.
During the course of Riv’s current series on 1 Timothy, I am blogging about stuff I can’t get to during the weekend services. Today, I am posting an open letter to my brothers who pastor in Jesus’ church around the world. This is going to be a longer post than normal but I feel like I have to address something and it’s going to take more than a few words to do so.
Speak to younger men as brothers…and younger women as sisters–with complete purity.-1 Timothy 5:1-2
Brothers-
I received an email yesterday that literally made me feel like I was going to puke. It was a friend of mine telling me a mutual friend had fallen into sexual sin with a member of his church staff and he was going to leave his family and move in with the other woman. This is the second of my friends to fall like this in the past couple weeks. Neither of these affairs were one time things, either. They had gone on for months and months.
After my stomach began to settle, I began to get pissed off. How could these men do something like this to their wives and families and churches? How could they do this to Jesus?
That’s when my third emotion kicked in: somberness. Each of these men were passionate and godly men who fell into sin. They join the ranks of many other men I have known who have done the same thing. At one point or another, I looked up to each of them. Some were brilliant communicators, other caring shepherds. They all loved being pastors, loved their families, and loved their churches. That’s why I became somber, because I couldn’t help but think “there but by the grace of God, go I.”
This morning when I woke up, I was angry again. This time at sin. I’m so mad that sin can topple years of hard work and devotion in an instant. At the same time, I take solace knowing that while individual men may fall, the gates of hell will not prevail against Jesus’ church.
So it is with these mixed emotions that I offer a list of suggestions for protecting yourself from this type of fall. I am not trying to be a legalist here, nor am I suggesting this is an exhaustive list. However, I want to strike while the iron is hot in my mind. Like any of you, I have the potential to fall into this type of sin. I want to “discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Cor 9:27)
Keep your marriage bed hot. As the Psalmist has written, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth…let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Proverbs 5:19) If things are going well with your sex life with your wife, you are less likely to be tempted to stray. Make this one of your highest priorities.
Maintain your relationship with God. A lot of times pastors spend so much energy teaching others about the faith that their own begins to drift. Make sure you are “setting an example for the flock.” (1 Peter 5:3) Get time alone with God, be fervent in your prayers, study the Word and make it central in your life.
Don’t underestimate the power of sin in your own life. The Apostle Paul understood this deeply, which is why he wrote,
“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:15–20)
Don’t underestimate the power of Jesus Christ’s atoning work on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s continuing work in your life. Paul continues his previous thought by saying,
“Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 7:24-8:4)
Sin may be strong, but Jesus is stronger. He has already set you free! Now, through the Holy Spirit’s power, you can say “no” to the flesh.
Flee temptation. Many of us think we have to stand there and take temptation to prove we are a man. No! Flee temptation! Paul tells us to do so at least 4 times that I can think of (1 Cor 6:18 | 1 Cor 10:14 | 1 Tim 6:11 | 2 Tim 2:22). Here are some practical ways to flee sexual temptation. Many people say these rules go too far, I think they are wise.
- Never have lunch alone with a woman (except with members of your immediate family, of course).
- Never ride alone in the car with a woman.
- Never meet alone with a woman unless the door is open, you have windows people can see through, etc.
- Never counsel a married woman alone without her husband more than one time.
- If you find yourself drawn to a woman (physically, mentally, or emotionally), avoid her.
- Don’t have close female friends if you are not also friends with her husband.
- Be careful with physical and verbal affection. If it can be misconstrued, don’t do it.
- Install OpenDNS on your home and church computer networks and XXXChurch accountability software on all your computers.
Give your wife full access. Make sure your wife has all of your passwords to your email accounts and Facebook. Encourage her to log into your account and snoop around. If you feel like you need privacy, ask yourself why you feel that way. I guarantee the answer isn’t a good one. You are trying to hide something–repent and give your wife the passwords.
Be careful on Facebook. In the last few weeks, I have heard about two different people I know who have rekindled old flames on Facebook–that’s the obvious danger. The more subtle danger is the photos. Many women don’t think about the impact of some of the racier photos they post and it’s easy to become a voyeur. It’s better to just stay away from the photo pages all together.
Get accountable. Often the way we use accountability is a stupid thing because it doesn’t actually accomplish anything. But if used well, it can be a powerful tool. It is a way for brothers to help each other. Confess your temptations to a trusted friend (a co-pastor is the perfect person because they understand). Tell them when you are being tempted, when you find someone in your congregation or staff attractive, etc. Give them access to your computer, phone, etc, to check up on you when they feel like it. Give them permission to aggressively check up on you.
Finally, I want to challenge all of us to Pray for One Another. This is a battle we are in and “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.” (Eph 6:12–13)
I love you brothers. Stand firm.
Noel
Tags: Holy Spirit, Jesus, marriage, pastors, prayer, sex, sin, social media, temptation
Review of “Church Planter,” by Darrin Patrick
Oct 19, 2011 Book Reviews, Church Planting
Church Planting is a big part of what we are all about at Riv. To that end, we partner with Acts29 for the assessment of Church Planters and their ongoing support and coaching. We decided to team up with them was because they do a better job than anyone at digging into the life of a man who desires to plant a church and accurately predicting whether or not he will be successful. That’s why I was so excited to read Church Planter by Darrin Patrick. I came away from the book feeling the same way I do about Acts 29, excitement with a hint of disagreement on non-essentials. If my slight reservations weren’t enough to keep us out of Acts 29, they shouldn’t be enough to keep you out of this book.
What did I like most about the book?
Whenever someone wants to start a new church, I recommend they read Missional Church Planting by Ed Stetzer because it is literally the textbook on church planting. He covers all the bases from the macro (types of church plant) to the micro (dealing with finances). The one missing piece was the most crucial of questions: “should I plant a church?” This is what Patrick hits in his book when he looks at “the Man, the Message, and the Mission.” This lines up well with Riv’s leadership development emphasis on “Character, Ministry Skills, and Doctrine.”
What did I like least about the book?
Many of the pastors in Acts 29 are more charismatic in their theology than I am and that definitely bleeds through in Church Planter. This was perhaps most notable for me in the chapter, “A Called Man.” I actually really enjoyed this chapter and thought Patrick nailed it on the head when he gave historical illustrations, practical advice, and Scriptural example. However, when subjective personal illustrations were used, the chapter lost its punch and their inclusion may have worked against the basic premise of the chapter. The problem with many young church planters is they elevate an experiential “call” to ministry over the counsel of godly men in their lives and others who speak into their decision to plant a church. It would seem that a supernatural call to ministry is the exception, rather than the rule in Scripture.
Would I recommend the book?
Any man who is considering planting a church should read this book before making their decision.
Key Quotes
“Often a pastor has the greatest impact on his church only after he has been there a number of years. When pastors fail to endure in ministry, they drastically cut shirt their impact.”
“Pastoral ministry requires dogged, unyielding determination, and determination can only come from one source – God himself.”
“Husbands in the home and pastors in the church are not more valued or more gifted, but they are charged with more responsibility and will be accountable to God for the way they lead.”
Resources
Buy this book on Amazon.com
Tags: acts29, church planting, elders, pastors
Not Less Than…
Sep 19, 2011 1 Corinthians
The last few weeks I’ve been getting a lot of the same question – a question that reveals some big misconceptions about the Bible’s stance on things.
The question often comes from those who have attended and enjoyed our church but were turned off by the false notion that Riv believes, as one recent email put it, “women are less than men…or that gays are less than straights.”
If you or someone you know may be thinking the same, I hope my reply can help you better understand Riv’s views. Here’s a portion of my response to those who have this concern:
I’m sorry if you somehow got the impression that Riv views women as “less than men” or gays as “less than straights.” A common misconception of the Bible’s position on these two issues is that they somehow reflect inequality. Rather, the Bible presents men and women as absolutely equal in everything, with different roles to play in the family and in the church. This is the same as God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit who are absolutely equal in the Trinity, but play different roles. At Riv, this specifically applies to the role of pastor/elder, which we believe is reserved for men. You can download a paper we have written on this topic here.
Additionally, we would welcome people who struggle with homosexuality into our church (there are many of them at Riv). We do this in the same way that we welcome heterosexual people who are living together before marriage into our church as well as people who are struggling with a myriad of other sins. However, we believe it is clear in Scripture that the act of homosexuality is a sin just like any other type of sex outside of marriage. Therefore, we challenge people regarding their sex lives, whether they are a heterosexual couple having sex outside of marriage, a gay couple having sex, or a married person having sex with someone they are not married to.
A few years ago, we went through a teaching series at Riv called “eXposed,” which challenged the way our culture views sex based on how the Bible views sex. Here are links to the audio files:
Sex: The _____ness Factor
Sex and the Single Person (taught by Riv Pastor Mark Brett)
Sex and the Married Person
Sex and the Gay Person
Sex and the Pornographer
One of the…
Aug 30, 2010 Uncategorized Hodge Podge
One of my favorite phrases is “one of the…”
Let me use it in a sentence for you: “I am one of the pastors at XYZ Church.”
Not sure if it’s me, but I am hearing this phrase more and more lately and I smile each time. It seems that perhaps we are beginning to recapture the often neglected biblical principle of a team of pastors/elders leading the church together.
Recently I have heard this phrase used by Larry Osborne, Mark Driscoll, Greg Surratt, and Pete Wilson to mention a few. They are from a wide range of theological / denominational camps, by the way.
I like.
Tags: church, elders, leadership, pastors
