Review of “The Peacemaker,” by Ken Sande
Nov 2, 2011 1 Corinthians, Book Reviews
This past weekend at Riv, we looked at a passage in 1 Corinthians that dealt with lawsuits between believers. Many have asked me for resources to help them pursue reconciliation instead of going to court. My favorite resource is If you Bite and Devour One Another by Alexander Strauch. Since I have already reviewed that book, I decided to review my second favorite book on the topic, The Peacemaker (which is not to be confused with the 90′s Clooney / Kidman movie of the same name).
What did I like most about the book?
The absolutely best thing about this book is that it is distinctly Christian. Sande takes great pains not to create a humanistic approach to conflict. Instead, he is concerned with what the Scriptures have to say about our interpersonal relationships and more importantly, he is primarily concerned with God’s reputation.
His “4 G’s” of conflict resolution have become almost the stuff of legend since this book first came out 20 years ago. If Christians would master these simple concepts alone, the world would take notice:
- Glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31)
- Get the log out of your eye (Matthew 7:5)
- Gently Restore (Galatians 6:1)
- Go and be Reconciled (Matthew 5:24)
What did I like least about the book?
There is a subtle undertone in sections of this book on repentance that I find out of balance. Here are a few excerpts:
“Instead, God calls us to identify and confess our idols one by one and then cooperate with him as he steadily removes them bit by bit from our hearts…One evidence of sincere repentance is a willingness to thoroughly examine ourselves so that we can uncover both our mistakes and our sins.”
In a book that quotes Scripture on each page, these assertions are sorely lacking in biblical support and for good reason – they go a step beyond where the Bible goes. Instead of going on a witch hunt to root out sin and idols in our lives (which are certainly there), our focus should be on Jesus and his saving work (which has already forgiven us of our sins and idols).
Would I recommend the book?
This book has become the primer of Christian Reconciliation and for good reason: it is a great book. Anyone who has to deal with conflict on a regular basis should get to know the concepts Sande lays out.
Key Quotes
“No matter what race or country we come from, none of us is naturally inclined to obey Jesus’ commands to love our enemies, confess our wrongs, gently correct others, submit to our church, and forgive those who hurt us. In fact, left to our own instincts, we are disposed to do just the opposite.”
“Clearly, we are not released from the command to love our neighbors as ourselves, even when that neighbor is hating, cursing, and mistreating us. Instead of reacting harshly or seeking revenge, God calls us to be merciful to those who offend us, just as he is merciful to us.”
Resources
Buy this book on Amazon.com
Tags: conflict, peacemaking
How to deal with conflict…a flowchart!
Oct 20, 2009 Uncategorized Hodge Podge
Yesterday’s post on “Covering an Offense” triggered some interesting responses from several people. One of the common things that came up was how to deal with someone who has sinned against you. A few years ago, I created a little flowchart for a teaching I did at Riv on the subject. You can download a PDF version of it by clicking on this image:
To listen to the audio of the message that went with the message, click here. For a crappy video of the teaching, click here.
Tags: conflict
