Recent Articles
4 Minutes on “The Call to Ministry”
Jan 16, 2012 4 Minutes On...
Last year, I got all kinds of grief from people when I said I knew I was “called” to be a pastor simply “because I am one.” Here’s 4 minutes explaining why I think that is true.
Friday Random Linkness
Jan 13, 2012 Friday Random Linkness
Unique Skateboarding Style
The Problem of Pleasure
Hockey has never looked so stunningly beautiful
One wrong move and you are a goner
I think I need to put these tires on my wife’s swagger wagon
Tuesday Rewind: Review of “Real Marriage” by Mark and Grace Driscoll
Jan 10, 2012 Tuesday Rewind
On some Tuesdays, I go back into the archives and dig up something that still relates today. For the next 5 weeks, I am going to repost the Top 5 Posts from 2011. Today’s post is #4 and it comes from December 7, 2011 (yes, a post from December clocked in at #4 for the whole year). This post is particularly poignant because the book has now come out to incredibly mixed reviews.
Two weeks ago at Riv, I quoted from three fantastic books on the topic of marriage. I have already reviewed two of the books (Sheet Music by Kevin Leman and The Meaning of Marriage: by Timothy and Kathy Keller) and today I am reviewing the final book, Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll.
Overview
If you Google my name, one of the top responses will be an interview I gave the late Michael Spencer about Mark Driscoll back in 2007.* In this interview, we talked about Driscoll’s confession of exhaustion, health problems, and how his growing church was affecting him personally. At the time, I was encouraged that he appeared to be taking steps to make sure his ministry had longevity. In Real Marriage, Driscoll gives a behind the scenes look at his life during that season and the impact it had on his marriage. Further, he details the steps he and his wife took to make sure their marriage and ministry didn’t go down the tubes. As a public figure, he lays his life honestly on the table (likely facing unfair scrutiny) in order to help anyone who is willing to pick up the book.
Real Marriage is the perfect second punch to the Kellers’ first we looked at last week. In fact, I would recommend that couples consider reading these books back to back. The Kellers really help us understand why we have marriage in the first place and what a Christian marriage should look like. The Driscolls pick up at this point and give biblical advice on how to develop that type of marriage.
The similarities between these books are striking, even as their styles are world’s apart. Each emphasizes the need for both an emotional / spiritual relationship (being best friends) and a intimate physical relationship (being lovers). They both tackle selfishness head on and expose it as the #1 enemy of marriage. Driscoll’s chapter on “Selfish Lovers and Servant Lovers” is the best chapter on marriage I have ever read. Most struggling couples I have counseled merely need to read these pages again and again and repent of their selfish ways.
What did I like most about the book?
This book is unabashedly Biblical. Mark and Grace present the unvarnished truths of Scripture in language that is very accessible to both men and women. They challenge married couples to up their game without piling on the guilt. The fact that they are willing to lay their own marriage on the altar of public criticism makes their message all the more palatable for even those who would criticize them. I suspect that even those who don’t follow Jesus would find their challenges compelling. A short section on fighting as friends is worth the price of the book alone.
The Driscolls spill a good amount of ink on the topic of sex in Real Marriage. These sections are very frank, but not crass (which is a delicate balance often missed this days). The chapter on porn is the single best chapter on that issue I have ever read and I recommend it to any man (or woman for that matter) who struggles in this area.
Would I recommend the book?
Absolutely. Pre-order it today since it doesn’t come out until January. Read the Kellers’ book first, then dive into this one after the holidays.
Key Quotes (These are from an Advance Reader’s Copy. When the final copy of the book comes out, I will edit this section with any changes.)
“It is common to hear married people speak of ‘falling out of love’ with their spouses, and ‘falling in love’ with someone else in adultery. In using the language of ‘falling’ they are cleverly avoiding any responsibility, as if they were simply required to follow their hearts.”
“…the husband gets to decide when he feels disrespected, and the wife needs to honor that. And the wife gets to decide when she feels unloved, and the husband needs to honor that.”
“You will sin against your spouse, and your spouse will sin against you. Couples who claim to never fight are either lying or living completely passionless, independent, parallel lives, so emotionally distant that hurting each other is virtually impossible. You will fight. The question is, will you fight well to the glory of God and the good of your marriage?”
“Much like a sexual predator who grooms the young and naive, pop culture with its increasing pornification is grooming young people for sexual sin and sexual assault.”
* – In the years since the Michael Spencer interview, I have had the privilege of getting to know Mark and Grace personally and ironically Mark’s advice has helped me to fine tune (and even change) some of the opinions on church ministry I expressed in that interview.
Resources
Buy this book on Amazon.com
4 Minutes on “Finding the One”
Jan 9, 2012 4 Minutes On...
When I taught on marriage and singleness last fall, the most common question I received related to finding the right person to marry. Since I definitely found “the One,” I figured I was qualified to put together this 4 minute video on the topic…
Tags: dating, marriage, singleness
Friday Random Linkness
Jan 6, 2012 Friday Random Linkness
2011 in film
Awesome thoughts by John Piper on interracial marriage
How birds sleep
One of the best uses of Time Lapse I have ever seen
What a Wonderful World
The Elephant Room
Jan 5, 2012 Uncategorized Hodge Podge
“Oh, I’ve heard about you…”
“Aren’t you the pastor that…”
“Don’t you guys believe…”
I can’t tell you how many times I hear comments that start with this way. People have heard something about me or Riverview that lodges itself into their brain. Whether it’s true or not, the story they have heard determines what they believe. Often, they are shocked to hear that no, we don’t brew beer in our building and yes, we believe in Jesus.
These conversations are eye opening for the people I am talking with, but a little of a sore spot for me because I hate being misrepresented.
“Oh, I’ve heard about you…”
“Aren’t you the pastor that…”
“Don’t you guys believe…”
Over the last several years, I have found myself starting many conversations with other pastors this way. I have heard something about him or his church and it has lodged itself into my brain. Oh snap…
Are you a judgmental sinner like me? When someone brings up their favorite author or pastor they listen to online or the church they go to, do you immediately jump to conclusions? Have you judged what they are about to tell you before they have even told you because of what you have heard?
This is why I am excited that Riverview is going to be a simulcast site for the Elephant Room on January 25. On that day, seven pastors (some I have heard good things about, some I have heard bad things about) will discuss Race in the Church, Moral Failure by Church Leadership, Denominationalism, Essential Doctrines, The Gospel, Healthy Ministry, and Working with those you Disagree with.
We will get to hear directly from these influential pastors instead of hearing about them from others.
My plan is to give them each the fair hearing I always hope someone will give me.
If you would like to join us, click here to register for The Elephant Room.
Tuesday Rewind: Not Less Than
Jan 3, 2012 Tuesday Rewind
On some Tuesdays, I go back into the archives and dig up something that still relates today. For the next 5 weeks, I am going to repost the Top 5 Posts from 2011. Today’s post is #5 and it comes from September 19, 2011.
The last few weeks I’ve been getting a lot of the same question – a question that reveals some big misconceptions about the Bible’s stance on things.
The question often comes from those who have attended and enjoyed our church but were turned off by the false notion that Riv believes, as one recent email put it, “women are less than men…or that gays are less than straights.”
If you or someone you know may be thinking the same, I hope my reply can help you better understand Riv’s views. Here’s a portion of my response to those who have this concern:
I’m sorry if you somehow got the impression that Riv views women as “less than men” or gays as “less than straights.” A common misconception of the Bible’s position on these two issues is that they somehow reflect inequality. Rather, the Bible presents men and women as absolutely equal in everything, with different roles to play in the family and in the church. This is the same as God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit who are absolutely equal in the Trinity, but play different roles. At Riv, this specifically applies to the role of pastor/elder, which we believe is reserved for men. You can download a paper we have written on this topic here.
Additionally, we would welcome people who struggle with homosexuality into our church (there are many of them at Riv). We do this in the same way that we welcome heterosexual people who are living together before marriage into our church as well as people who are struggling with a myriad of other sins. However, we believe it is clear in Scripture that the act of homosexuality is a sin just like any other type of sex outside of marriage. Therefore, we challenge people regarding their sex lives, whether they are a heterosexual couple having sex outside of marriage, a gay couple having sex, or a married person having sex with someone they are not married to.
A few years ago, we went through a teaching series at Riv called “eXposed,” which challenged the way our culture views sex based on how the Bible views sex. Here are links to the audio files:
Sex: The _____ness Factor
Sex and the Single Person (taught by Riv Pastor Mark Brett)
Sex and the Married Person
Sex and the Gay Person
Sex and the Pornographer
Tags: homosexuality, men, women
Reading the Bible in 2012
Dec 30, 2011 4 Minutes On...
This is the time of year that people make lots and lots of New Year’s Resolutions.
About 3 weeks from now is when people give up on lots and lots of New Year’s Resolutions.
For many Christians, reading the Bible is one of those ill fated commitments. It’s a lot like physical exercise - we know it is important, we feel better when we do it, but other more urgent matters constantly push it off our calendar. Intellectually, we all know spending time in the Word is so much more valuable than getting on the elliptical. As the Apostle Paul wrote to his protege Tim:
“…while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” – 1 Timothy 4:8
Make 2012 the year you not only commit to spend time in the Word, but actually do it. Here are three simple steps (followed by a ton of resources to get you started).
1. Find a plan that works for you.
Are you a morning person? Read the Bible before diving into your day. Night person? Read in bed before zonking out. Do you like to exercise? Listen to the Bible on your MP3 player. Are you a big reader? Tackle a Bible in the Year plan. Hate to read? Read a paragraph a day. Always glued to your Inbox? Subscribe to the Bible and have it emailed to you. There are so many options. Find one that works for you.
2. Work the plan that you found.
Make a commitment to the plan and tell someone. It doesn’t matter if you tell your spouse, your roommate, or your mom, just tell someone. Heck, go the annoying route and post it on Facebook like one of those dumb running apps that tells everyone you just ran 3.1K in the snow. The key is to incude other people. If you can get someone else to do the same plan as you, even better. Oh, and don’t start the plan tomorrow. Start it today.
3. Don’t freak out.
This is probably the most important step. Three weeks from now, many gyms will be as empty as they are full today. Life will slowly crowd out exercise and people will freak out about their inability to get moving and they will slowly sink back into their couch. This will happen with your Bible reading, too. You will skip a day here or there and then you will eventually give up. When that happens and you realize it, don’t freak out. Start the plan over – not tomorrow, today.
Resources
To get you rocking, here is the mother-load of resources. Don’t freak out at all the options, just look for one that works for you.
Bible Reading Plans
Riverview Text Project – We tackle 1 chapter of the New Testament and 1 chapter of the Old Testament every weekday and 1 chapter of the Psalms on the weekends. You can also subscribe to the RSS feed or have it emailed to you each morning by signing up here:
ESV Reading Plans – Here are 10 more reading plans from the makers of the ESV Bible (which we use at Riv). There are lots of different options to choose from, as well as lots of ways to subscribe (RSS, Print, iCal).
Read through the Bible Program for Shirkers and Slackers – Instead of giving you a daily plan, this plan gives you something to read on any given day of the week (Sunday – Saturday) and if you miss a day, it’s no big deal because there aren’t any dates, just check boxes.
John MacArthur’s Reading Plan – This is one I am considering tackling this year. Basically, you read the same thing over and over for 30 days. In that time, you really really get it. It takes about 3 years to go through the New Testament at this pace.
Bible Apps
eBible – My new favorite Bible app makes it super easy to take notes, underline, highlight, and sync up with your other devices.
YouVersion – The most popular free Bible app out there, you can get those one for every possible mobile device.
Logos – This free Bible app is awesome when synced with Logos Bible Software. If you don’t have the software, pick a different App.
Bible.is – I really like this app for listening to the Bible when I mow the lawn or work out.
You Might Also Like…
The Books of the Bible – This unique Bible (which was created with the help of a Riv Member) eliminates all chapter divisions and verse numbers. It also lays the Bible out in an easier to read single column (like most other books). It’s amazing how this little tweak makes the Bible so much more readable. My only complaints are the translation (it’s in the new NIV and I am not a fan) and the difficulty in finding or sharing a specific passages. With that said, it’s a great product and if you need help just getting into the Word, I really advise you check this out.
Tweeting the Bible – Every weekday morning, I tweet a Bible verse. Just one. Maybe for you, that will be just the kick in the pants you need to get started.
Tags: bible
Friday Random Linkness
Dec 30, 2011 Friday Random Linkness
The 75 best LIFE photos
This makes me want to be a carpenter
Alot is better than you at everything
None of my kid’s music classes seem to be quite like this one…
This looks so fake, but it’s not. That makes it cool
I dare you to not laugh out loud while watching this
Is it time for a new calendar?
Friday Random Linkness
Dec 23, 2011 Friday Random Linkness
My friend JVo’s Christmas wish
If I actually sent Christmas cards, this would be the one I would send
Nothing says Christmas like Zombies
This is why I’m broke…and also why I have no time left in the day
Epic Fail
Epic Trick Shots
