Struggling in Church
Feb 10, 2010 Print This Post
I love this quote from RELEVANT Magazine:
Church isn’t meant to be people who mask our brokenness with good acts. It’s meant to be the place where we can freely say, “I want to sleep with that guy,” “I have slept with that girl”, “I drank too much last night” or “I lied to my colleague about that project!” It’s meant to be a place where we don’t wear these things as a badge of honour but with a spirit of confession. Church isn’t meant to be about perfect people but about confessed people. We should be able to say these things, our secrets, our sins, our mistakes, and receive love and acceptance from Jesus (and church people) when we do.
What I love about this quote is it strikes at two main issues:
– We shouldn’t flaunt our sin, but confess it.
– We should love on those who are struggling through these issues, just like Jesus does.
How cool would it be if the church could strike that tone?
February 10th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
If such a church existed… I would attend. Most every church I have attended claimed to be about reaching the lost, connecting with the broken,and loving people, but I have never attend a church where I would feel comfortable saying “I… [insert sin here].” Not without fear of rejection.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
I believe a church were jumping through the hoops before you are welcomed of excepted makes the difference on feeling like you can be open adn host about your sins. The standard church you have to jump through hoops before you are accepted and once you are accepted you do not want to risk loosing that acceptance.
My small group at Riverview is a place without hoops.
February 11th, 2010 at 8:51 am
i think I see what you/Relevant are saying. Christians feel pressured to fake it, and don’t honestly embrace the realities of our sinful lives. But something’s bothering me. I’m not sure it would be “cool” for me. Do I want the openness, honesty, grace and forgiveness? Sure. But taking the illustration to it’s extreme…to have a church full of confessing Christians…would make me sad and skeptical. I think i would stand back and think, oh my, people are destroying their lives and others’. Because I think the broader story would be, “I drank too much last night…and when i drove home I clipped a pedestrian now fighting for her life in the hospital.” Or, “I slept with him…now I’m going to be a single Mom at age 18.” I would then begin to question our ministry and the power of the gospel. I would think, where is the power and mercy of Jesus that compels me/us to greater measures of holiness? To think that in the face of Jesus having to suffer and die on my behalf for the things I must confess daily…”cool” does not immediately seem to capture it. It kinda makes me want to cry even now. “Oh, God, you have bled and died…for these very sins…how is it that I have shamed you again? I have failed you and tarnished your Name…again. I have chosen my self, fed my appetites, and hurt others deeply in the process…how can you still love me?” Not, cool. Tragic, maybe. But, i think what you meant, Noel, was, wouldn’t it be better if the church wasn’t a place full of hypocrites! Wow, i sure agree with that. Never mind.
February 12th, 2010 at 1:59 am
I think confessing is a good thing. Confessing when appropriate is also another thing.
As the author says, “It’s meant to be the place where we can freely say, “ ‘I want to sleep with that guy,’ ‘I have slept with that girl…’ ”
Uh, that doesn’t sound like much of a confession to me but more of a statement. More specifically, what the author writes seems to single someone out, like you’re pointing at someone specific and saying you want to sleep with them. I’m not so sure I want my 5 year old daughter growing up in a church where this is “freely” being talked about.
Maybe I’m taking this too literal, but it should be more of a place where instead of “freely” making such statements, it should be a place where help is “freely” given when appropriate. More like a place where I can seek someone out without fear of rejection and say, “Hey I need some help, I can’t get these lustful feelings out of my heart.” NOT, “Hey she’s hot, I want to sleep with her,” and then ask for help.
February 12th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Let’s make this personal. I’m a woman, I’m in love with a woman. Would I be accepted at your church? No, I wouldn’t flaunt it. And we probably wouldn’t show up hand-in-hand. But as I begin to develop relationships with members of your church and begin to reveil more of who I am, would I be accepted, loved, or asked to leave? If not asked to leave, would I be allowed/permitted to get involved? Could I serve? Join the praise team for example. Not only as a woman do I love a woman, but I will occationally lie (or stretch the truth.) Would someone like me be allowed to worship God in your church? If you say sure, you would be welcome, but in order to serve, to get involved, you must change your lifestyle… I ask you why? And must I only refrain from homosexual sin or must I also never lie again? Not one church member is free from sin. Not one person on that stage preaching or singing with the worship team is sin-free. Perhaps they struggle with lust, cheat occationally on tests, are envious of others… are those sins any different than mine? If I am not accepted for the choices I make, then no one should be. Jesus died for me too.
February 17th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
For me, this conversation is less about who’s a sinner or who’s a bigger sinner, and more about how to inter-personally process our sinful lives and progress in godliness. We are a church full of sinners, BUT we’re not all striving to shed our sinful life for the one Jesus has freed us to live (mistake-ridden as it will be). It seems to be a solidly Romans 6 challenge… I agree with Casey, we walk on dangerous ground when we elevate certain and disregard other sins. The problem for me comes when someone says, in essence, “You should accept me the way I am, since Jesus does.” I just don’t hear Jesus saying that, per se. Seems to me, Jesus says (paraphrasing John 8), “I forgive you, now change.” What, then, qualifies you for certain service in our church is not a sinless life, but a repentant and humble life; one where change is increasingly pursued and evident… A life that says, I’m willing to go Jesus way, not mine. An attitude that says, I might be wrong…I probably am wrong. A life that says, when my ideas and ways conflict with Jesus ways, i make the sacrifice for him since he made the sacrifice for me. I have been haunted by my own thoughts/words (earlier in this thread) ever since i wrote them. I want to be the guy that lives in loving, forgiving community with other sinners (which, to Casey’s point, we do, whether we like it or not), but find myself tired of milk-toasty Christians hangin’ out in the muck secure in Jesus forgiveness. Don’t get me wrong – the opposite is equally pitiful: “Look at me, I’ve arrived! I’m the quintessential Christian.” Yeesh. To quote Miyagi, “Balance, Daniel-son.” …the truth is almost always in the tension, which is why I so often return to Ecc 7:18… Thank you all for your honest and insightful inputs. It has been an instructive and even convicting process for me…
February 17th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
Thank you Mike for responding, you’ve given me more to think about. This personal journey I’m on has been rough. Not to say anyone has it easy. I have questions and I’m seeking answers. I am learning more about who I am and what I believe, as well as who God is. Seems each time I come to a new understanding about God, His character, or the christian walk new questions emerge. This discuss thread has become one forum for me to continue seeking.
February 18th, 2010 at 9:39 am
Very well put Mike, nice job.