Forgiveness is Not
Dec 8, 2009 Print This Post
I forgot to post the “Forgiveness is Not” list yesterday and a bunch of people have requested it. Here it is (courtesy of Ray’s book):
Forgiveness does not mean approving of what someone else did.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending that evil never took place.
Forgiveness does not mean making excuses for other people’s bad behavior.
Forgiveness does not mean justifying evil so that sin somehow becomes less sinful.
Forgiveness does not mean overlooking abuse.
Forgiveness does not mean denying that others tried to hurt you repeatedly.
Forgiveness does not mean letting others walk all over you.
Forgiveness does not mean refusing to press charges when a crime has been committed.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the wrong that was done.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending you were never hurt.
Forgiveness does not mean you must become friends again.
Forgiveness does not mean there must be a total reconciliation as if nothing ever happened.
Forgiveness does not mean that you must tell the person you have forgiven them.
Forgiveness does not mean that all negative consequences of sin are cancelled.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I spent some time thinking about this this week…When you asked about ‘that thing’ nothing really came to mind…I felt really content about past ‘big stuff’ that the Lord has brought me through…however as my week started to progress, it hit me. My struggle is in that ‘other’ category. Forgiving those that cause the same offense over, and over, and over…even forgiving others for NOT being forgiving .
Anyway, I am thankful that the Lord has brought this to my attention and is working away at my heart. I have spent many hours in the ‘tortures’ of unforgiveness and I have no desire to return to those pains…
December 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I really like your list here! – I just finished an action research project on Forgiveness in Communities – I found Dr. Worthingtons Frame (REACH) to be useful. It is: Recall the hurt, Empathize with the offender, Altruism – give an altruistic gift, Commit to forgive, and Hold on to forgiveness. I’ve found each step is crucial for experiencing forgiveness.
January 26th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Dont be fooled. The words of Jesus have been totally twisted to meet the hypocritical demands western religious churchs. Jesus said,FORGIVE and pray for enemys, But he also said, You hypocrites, You put heavy burdens on men and lift not one finger to help them. There seems to be a continual opression in the churchs for victoms to conduct a ritual of humility to gain abusers/leaders approval.
As if to say one can prove forgivenes after being abused, simply smile and resubmit to the abuse. NOT what Jesus asked us to do. Shall we invite abusers to our homes? Shall we keep company with false bretheren?
Acid test: If a theif breaks into your home would you not defend your children and even kill if necessary. And would you not press charges to police.
Im am refering to churchs who allow every sort of abuse,carnality and even sin and have no Godly discerment to defend those poor victoms.
So it is a game they play to keep the peace. Fasle peace.
Forgiveness does not mean resubmiting to abuse.
Come out from among them.