How to Give and Take Criticism like a Man
Nov 17, 2008 Print This Post
I just stumbled onto a great blog called “The Art of Manliness.” Made me think of the “Man Class” Steve just taught at Riv. Here’s the stated purpose of the site:
My idea for the Art of Manliness came about as I was reading Men’s Health magazine. It seemed to me that the magazine’s contents were continually going downhill, with more and more articles about sex and how to get six pack abs. Was this all there was to being a man?
(Note from Noel: I didn’t renew my Men’s Health subscription this year for the same reasons.)
And as I looked around at the men my age, it seemed to me that many were shirking responsibility and refusing to grow up. They had lost the confidence, focus, skills, and virtues that men of the past had embodied and were a little lost. The feminism movement did some great things, but it also made men confused about their role and no longer proud of the virtues of manliness. This, coupled with the fact that many men were raised without the influence of a good father, has left a generation adrift as to what it means to be an honorable, well-rounded man.
Let me say at the outset that this isn’t an ironic site (like the one I talked about last week). This guy seems seriously concerned about men learning to be men. I couldn’t agree more. It seems like we often find ourselves “reparenting” the very type of guy he is talking about here.
The first post I read was How to Give and Take Criticism like a Man and I couldn’t say “amen” more. Here’s an excerpt. Take some time to read the whole post, it’s really good.
Dealing with criticism is a skill every well-adjusted man should possess. We give and take criticism among our co-workers, our friends, and our family. Criticism is an important part of our personal self improvement, for it is other people who can point out mistakes and shortcomings that we can’t see because we lack objectivity. Unfortunately, many young men today don’t know how to offer and accept criticism like a man. Instead they handle criticism like little boys. When giving criticism, they opt only to give snide, cutting jabs that do nothing to improve the situation. When receiving criticism, they sulk, make excuses, and argue with the person criticizing them. Ask any teacher who has the nerve of giving a student a poor grade. Today’s students will cry and whine their way to a better one. Or worst of all, have their parents intervene. They simply don’t know how to respectfully accept criticism.
This particular topic is probably equally applicable to men and women (as many of the site’s topics are), but I have seen so many passive men who need to grow up in this area.
November 17th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Odd, I didn’t think men of my generation even read magazines any more. Sure I can remember my Dad reading magazines while watching 60 minutes or my grandfather reading a magazine after eating the dinner my grandma cooked. I don’t know if I have ever sat down and read a mens magazine.
As a man today I think I get more criticism or feedback then my father ever dreamed of or had a chance of dealing with. Being a well-balanced man today is more than it has ever been before. I cook, I clean, I teach, I feel, I listen, I cry, I understand, I relate, I sympathize and I still have to be the man. I do things and deal with things my father never had the skill set to deal with.
The level of feedback men get today is not only from more sources but on a wider range of topics. Sure some men unplug because its overwhelming.
I do not take it all to heart anymore. At the end of the day I figure out what I can do with what fits and move on. Say a prayer and go to bed.
I do not see men now being less then they were in my fathers generation or my grandfathers. Just different times with diferent problems.