The Morning Fog
May 24, 2008 Uncategorized
Last week, Christian musician Steven Curtis Chapman’s 5 year old daughter died when she was accidentally run over in her own driveway.
It was heartbreaking to many people around the world.
This morning, my friend Susan died unexpectedly of an infection that hit her bloodstream. She was only 30 and left behind a husband and 2 year old son. I spent the whole morning with her husband who is “feeling lost.”
It was heartbreaking to me personally.
I can’t help but think of this verse:
James 4:14
How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.
Chapman’s family is different this week than it was last week. Susan’s family is, too. This is the nature of the world we live in.
And now, I’m sitting alone in a restaurant trying to process all of this. I have to deal with it now because in less than two hours, I’ll be performing a wedding for some other friends. Then tomorrow, another wedding. I have to pull out of sorrow to celebrate joyfully with these two couples. .
Oddly, my greatest source of comfort are the words of Susan’s husband. To each person who came by the hospital today, this “lost” man said the same thing:
“God knows what he is doing. Susan and I met fast, fell in love fast, had a kid fast. Now I know why…God knew this was coming and he wanted us to have this short time together, because he knew it was all the time we had.”
Wow. What an example of a man who is both grieving and standing firm in his faith in God’s sovereignty. His words also strike me in another way. Susan, knowing I was teaching on homosexuality a couple months ago, volunteered to share her story at Riv. I asked her, “are you sure?”
Her response?
“I think that God wants me to tell my story now. I don’t know why, but I am convinced this is the right time.”
It was indeed the right time. For those of you who missed it, here it is:
Have fun with Jesus, Susan. Thanks for sharing your life and story with us.
We’ll see you soon.
Isaiah 61:3
To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the LORD has planted for his own glory.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Jeremiah 29:11 has been running through my mind, lately, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” His plans include even the hard things because everything and everyone as a purpose. May he grant you the strength to see that clearly, as you already do, as you “switch gears” today and tomorrow. I’ve been there, brother, and I know how tough it is, even as He displays his love and grace through you and to you. Shalom x 3…
May 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Noel,
I am stunned. I just don’t know what to say on one hand and on the other hand I am equally overcome with God’s sovereignty.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:18 am
My prayers are with you and the rest of the family and friends. I am glad your beautiful friend got to share part of her story with us before she went.
Lots of death lately. One of my non-Christian friends just had a coworker die suddenly, too. I’m hoping he knew Christ and is able to triumph over death through Him.
I will be flying halfway around the world in a matter of hours, and (more than my usual, given I hate flying over oceans), I’m thinking about my own mortality.
May 25th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Her family will be in my prayers. This week I’m coming off a funeral as well. 30 some year old woman, diagnosed 2 years ago with breast cancer, stage four as she was nursing her second child. Nicest couple. Two young children. Great guy, works in education. Somehow just doesn’t seem right as I stare at their wedding album at the showing and realize we were married the same year yet have taken such different paths.
I am helpless. There must be something I should learn, for there is no good in my eyes otherwise.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I not only remember being there for that service but she would work for Rivkids sometimes when I did. What a horrible loss and I will keep her family in my prayers. She was so young and I’m so shocked.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
I am so glad I read your blog today Noel…I missed this service, but heard of it…Susan was my friend and I will miss her dearly….this is just another aspect of her life that made her such an amazing person…she was very brave to get in front of everyone and share her story.
My prayers are with her family but especially with Joel and sweet little Noah.
I am still in shock, but as much as I am in shock, it really is comforting to read what you wrote about Joels words in the hospital…He has such a wonderful outlook on life….I pray that God will always take good care of Joel and Noah…Lisa
May 27th, 2008 at 8:41 am
praying for all you guys!! hugs…..
May 28th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Recently I had John 11:35 come up when I needed it. I know Jesus Christ wept; I explained to someone who won’t be in my life for some time: He wept because of their lack of faith/peace. Time on the world is a blessing of Humility. Greeting when you two shared your time with us and I saw the Love that comes from God through Christ. As she came from God we are going back to into His peace in all faithfulness. In this vapor of time surely you will continue to be there for her loved ones and the many you both reached together. Thanks again for your time and for being true.
May 28th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
What a courageous young woman. That testimony was beautiful. My prayers are with her family today.
grace and peace, jimmy
May 29th, 2008 at 1:11 am
That was Susan? I guess I remembered her as well. Lauren (my girlfriend) knew her from the kids ministry and was pretty upset.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:11 am
I knew Sue during her years at Alabama. I really want to comment that it’s nice how she chose to completely ignore the fact that she left Alabama due to her raging anorexia and not because of a gay relationship.
Or maybe that came in a later part of the tape that we don’t see?
I’ve been on a spiritual quest myself, lately, because I have a hard time condoning the way a lot of churches treat people. Like Sue, I find that more churches are interested in keeping out the bad element rather than embracing another child of the Lord who may need those people more than anything. While I wouldn’t be considered a bad element myself - unless 15 years of deliquent church-going counts - I don’t wish to support any organization who pushes that type of agenda.
While on the surface, your church seems to be pretty open to folks “coming as they are,” your place is tricky. It’s like, “We invite you all to come in…so we can change you into what we think you should be.”
At least that is how it looks to this outsider.
I can’t get over people talking about triumphing over homosexuality, when it’s like, look - you don’t ask blue eyed people to TRIUMPH over their blue-eyedness, or curly haired people to believe in god so they can have straight hair or - since homosexuality is seen as a handicap anyway - Down’s Syndrome kids to believe hard enough in Jesus so they’ll be normal. It’s just absurd. You can’t “fix” that. It seems as if the church would say, “Wear these contacts to make your eyes brown, because then you won’t have those sinful blue eyes!” but your eyes are STILL blue. And that straightener in your “devil’s curly” hair? It doesn’t make your hair NOT curly. And if god makes us all perfect and in his image, then isn’t the point that God is everything, beautiful and ugly, awesome or scary, but the point is to appreciate and love it all and just accept it for what it is?
So I suppose my real question is: What if Sue had continued her life as a lesbian? Would she have worked for your church? Would you think so highly of her? Would you laud her difficult life or would you pity her and consider her in hell? I feel this is a fair question, given that you openly state that you have this blog to avoid hypocrisy in your life.
Whoever the real Sue was, I sincerely hope she was very happy, and I am very sad for her family’s loss.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Thanks so much for the note, Rachael. I appreciate your honesty regarding Susan’s situation as well as your observations from the outside about our church. It is very difficult (as you alluded to) to make general statements about any group or organization from a limited perspective, such as a short video clip.
Regarding Susan’s reasons for leaving Alabama, she and I decided there were details that were both too personal and not relevant for the video, so we left them out.
The issue of homosexuality is so difficult because it is so intensely personal. Let me say at the outset that I believe it is very complex and no answers are incredibly easy. In fact, recently one of my co-pastors and I viewed a play on Christian homosexuals and took part in a discussion group for clergy afterward. I chat about it on my blog here.
The bottom line is that we believe that the Bible teaches that the act of homosexuality is a sin. We see this clearly in Scripture. At the same time, we don’t see it as a sin that is any worse than any other sin. The issues I wrestle with are just as sinful as anyone else’s issues. That was the context of the message Susan was taking part of in this interview. You can download to audio here or you can watch it here.
We have people at Riverview who are practicing homosexuals, we have people who are no longer homosexual (including several who are married), and we have people who have chosen to abstain because they have seen what Scripture teaches on this. The bottom line is, Riverview is a place where people are at varying places in their spiritual journeys.
Hope this (and my teaching) helps you see where we are on this.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Gosh. Thanks for this post. I’m putting it on my blog. This post reminds me of God’s grace in my own confused past life, why I love Riverview and why I’m thankful for a few years there to hear you point me to the Good Shepherd. Sometimes I wish I was back there, but the Lord hasn’t worked that one out yet. Keep up the good work, Noel-e-o. I’m praying for you.