Jack Bauer Torture Report
Jan 17, 2006 Uncategorized | Print This Post
//MOOD: Tortured
//NOISE: Kids killing each other
I’m sure you have been wondering where I have been the last few days. Well, I have been building my new website. And now, for your viewing pleasure, may I present the Jack Bauer Torture Report.
OK, so we all know that Jack Bauer likes killing bad guys and torturing them even more. In fact, in matters of national security, they don’t even have to be bad guys.
The question is, “How much does Jack like to do this stuff?”
And, no, we will not accept “a lot” as an answer.
We want numbers.
That’s what this site is dedicated to. We pledge to report on the number of people Jack tortures and kills. It’s our service to you, the loving reader.
In addition, you can display these pretty banners on your site, proudly declaring that you love Jack and are proud to live in a country where a man like this has a license to kill…and kill…and torture.
Feel free to pimp the site at your leisure.








January 17th, 2006 at 7:04 pm
I must say, this is a brilliant idea, Noel. If I watched 24, i would probably care more. But this will probably be pretty successful for you :)
January 17th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
i watched 24 for the first time ever last night. it was crazy. how’s e.l.? minneapolis is cold. i’m going to check out the rock this friday- finally. i’m going to give a shout out to the pastor for you. or something.
January 17th, 2006 at 9:50 pm
seriously…you are such a nerd!!
;-)
January 18th, 2006 at 12:55 am
This month’s issue of Men’s Health actually suggests a chest work-out plan that only consists of doing 10 push-ups every time Jack tortures somebody. I’m pretty sure it would be easy to come up with some interesting drinking games as well to go along with the show.
January 18th, 2006 at 10:52 am
wow…as i looked at this, one thought permeated my brain, “somebody has way too much time on their hands!”
no offense intended, of course! =}
January 18th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
None taken.
Jerk.
For the record, I set that up in 2.5 hours.