Pornography
Aug 18, 2005 Print This Post
//MOOD: Decent
//ITUNES: “Just a Phase” – Incubus
I really appreciate Perry Noble’s post on pornography. He is a pastor who is taking very seriously the effect it has on his life. For sure read the whole thing. I am just going to post his steps he started taking to get out of porn.
#1 – Ask for accountability! And I am not talking about finding someone who has the same problem as you and then both of you confessing that you “messed up” that week and then feeling OK because you were not the only one to sin. I am challenging you to find someone who does not struggle with the problem…and ask them to get in your face. My accountability partner & I have made a $1,000 promise to one another–that if he or I view porn that we have to write the other person a check for $1,000. It might not work for you–but there have been times I have been tempted & thought about my checkbook!!!
#2 – Get away from the net! This is tough for an internet junkie…but it is needed. Jesus said if your right eye causes you to sin then gouge it out…so I don’t think it is a stretch to say if your computer causes you to sin then get rid of it. I had to take this step…for about five years I did not have the internet in my house…I didn’t trust myself. I just recently got this wireless deal–but only because my computer has some accountability software on it…and a record of every site that I visit is sent to a member of our executive team at New Spring. This holds me accountable.
#3 – Do not travel alone! Men, under no circumstances should you travel alone if you are struggling with this, especially if you are in the ministry. Tell your church that you wish to be a man of integrity…that temptation is real…and they need to fork out the money NOW or LATER. (Later meaning they will have to hire another pastor/staff member and pay their moving expenses, etc. because they were to cheap to assist you in your walk!) New Spring never allows me to travel alone…and it has made a difference!
#4 – Tell your wife! She has a right to know…and she can pray for you in powerful ways. I told Lucretia about my struggles before we were married…and she still prays for me and holds me accountable today. This will hurt her…and it will put a strain on things…but if she finds out in some other way–and she will–then not only does she feel like you cheated on her…but she feels lied to as well.
#5 – Ask God to help you to develop a healthy view of women. One of the things that helped me the most was when I began to think, “That woman is some mans daughter…and when I have a little girl I don’t want other men viewing her in a lustful way!” I have to admit–this one did it for me…I do not have children yet–but when I do I want them to be treated with respect–and looking at someone with their clothes off in a lustful manner is not respect–it is self gratification.
August 22nd, 2005 at 10:03 am
Thanks for posting this Noel. It’s a tough topic and I notice that every gets really silent (and sometimes start sweating) when it comes up.
And, good luck finding someone who doesn’t struggle with this area when you are in a college group. I think maybe a different way of putting it is “find someone who is serious about fighting it, and is mad about it.” We have a group of brothers who struggle on rare occasion with is, but are upset that it is such a pervasive, huge problem. They make great accountability partners, because they hold eachother’s feet to the fire.
Good stuff, man.